One Day

This blog is likely going to serve as a place for me to vent out random things in my head, my life and other things I may not feel like taking out on others mostly so I can just relax and become at peace with myself again. I lost that somewhere along the way; from a few years ago when I journaled regularly. Writing was my way of finding release, at least one of them.

I generally try not to complain about life and the things going on, but it feels good, but after a while I sit back and think on the things that *could* be happening to me, but aren't, and I really should be thankful for such things like that.

Never have I been overly religious although I feel like something like a church family is missing from my life; but a few years ago I came to peace with my personal religious views although many do not share the same ideals I have. Not that I believe in something totally off the wall and random but I haven't found someone who shares in a similar belief system. Which is fine, however I'm a big believer in co-existing with one another no matter what someones views are. I though closely identify with Neo-Pagan and Unitarian Universalist. I don't go to a church, nor have I ever, really. I don't really count a few times of going as having "gone" to church.

Just, I still feel like something like that is missing, yet I'm comfortable in my own views. I guess it's just because a lot of my friends respond with things surrounded by churches. I grew up in a split household, neither went to church, which is fine. I'm not sure if that forced me to become more open minded or not. But really what made me realize this hole for the first time was my brother's graduation party, compared to mine. Midway through my party I kinda wished we hadn't done one, saved the money for my upcoming medical bills but, hey it was nice to see everyone at least.

Life will constantly always throw me for loops, yet I try my best to stay grounded. I rely heavily on my family and friends. I whine, vent, complain and sometimes, I'll admit to crying myself to sleep. Though that last one doesn't happen too often anymore.

I love my life and the people in it, I constantly strive to be the best me I possibly can, yet still be the best mom I can for my little angel. I have so many ideas for her, and things I want to accomplish but I'm limited because I don't make much money, and what money I do make goes into her insurance and her daycare fees. One day though I'll get it turned around.

I'm not really sure where I wanted this post to go, but I got inspired to write, and I wanted to update with something. So this is what you, my dear reader gets at 2am.

Goodnight and Goodluck.